Insomnia

From the title, you are probably thinking I'm writing this during the wee hours of the morning or very late at night. Nope, but I am writing this from experience, this morning at 3:30AM to be exact. For some reason I wake up almost every morning between 3:30-3:45AM. Most of the time laying there, twitching my restless legs, trying with everything I have to go back to sleep. Most of the time the more I fight it the longer I am awake. But on the mornings that I realize that God has me awake for a reason, I use it to talk to Him. Most of the time I wake into a sea of worry. Yes, I admit it... I am a full-fledged, card carrying, stomach ache inducing, worry wart. Always have been, and I am not proud of it. So at 3:30 when my legs are twitching and my dog and husband are singing their songs of deep sleep, I think of all the things that might go wrong during the day. Yes, I said might, like I said - I am not proud of it.

This morning was one of those restless mornings, but this morning was different. God quickly reminded me that He had me awake for a reason, and it was to talk to Him. This morning it was all about my husband, which is my favorite subject of prayer. So I started praying, and praying with all my heart. I quietly laid my hand on my husbands back and just started praying for him. Praying for his day, praying for God to give him peace, praying that God would give him Joy in his day. Praying that he would wake up feeling refreshed, feeling his importance in life, feeling loved unconditionally, feeling appreciated, and so forth. I prayed, prayed, and prayed some more. I prayed that I would be an encouragement to him, that I would be a safe place for him to come, talk to and listen. I prayed that I would be his teammate so he doesn't have to face his stresses alone. I prayed for his friendships, that He would have men in his life that he could have fun with, do "stupid guy stuff" with, have adventures with, and ones that he could talk to.

Then came the prayers of Thankfulness. The room had become quieter, and all I could hear was the sweet purr of my kitty as she stretched and nestled in to the comforter over me. I thanked God for her, because she calms me. I thanked God for my husband, for being such a great provider. For being my rock when I need someone to lean on. For being there for me whenever I need him. For always watching out for me and making sure that I arrive to my destination safely. For still opening the doors for me, after 18 years of being together (14 as my husband). For his giant hugs that calm my fears. For wiping away my tears when I am hurting. And for letting me just ramble when I need to. Ok - he totally deserves a medal for that last one. During that silence of the morning and the joy of being thankful, I fell back asleep.

So I pray, the next time I am awake at 3:30 - that God will immediately remind me that it's our time to talk, without any distractions, and that He hears my every word, fear, worry, and thankfulness.

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